A Tale of Two Tails

My first dog liked to chase her tail.  She'd spin in very determined circles, focused on her quarry.  An unstoppable vortex that would attempt to gobble up any counter attempt.  She learned, too, that hitting a wall or other object could giver her an advantageous bit of reach wherein she could finally attain her elusive quarry.  She became quite adept at catching her tail.  Trouble was she knew exactly what to do when she caught it… chew the hell out of it.  I'm sure it made sense to her… chase tail, catch tail, chew tail.  At that time in my life, I was too young to understand dog breeds, or behavioral anomalies and neurosis in canines.  If you asked me why my white dog had a black head and a pink tail, I would have told you she chases her tail and the black is a kind of camouflage.  Her tail is pink because she's good at catching it and she chews it until it bleeds.  Long before she developed this behavior, I named her "Tippy".  She's still a fond memory.  I'm very fortunate to have had a dog which provided me the opportunity to make empirical assessments at an early stage in my artistic life.  Sometimes the creative process is just a series of urges.  It can be similar to watching a dog chase it's tail.  The evening the photo above was taken, I set out on an uncharted course along Northern CO's grasslands.  Setting off without a physical or ideological destination at the beginning of an art making excursion is a valid endeavor, but can lead to the sort of behavior for which artists notorious.  Somewhere in the flat land, I got the idea that there was so much rain the rivers were taking back the roads.  And true the rain was making a very concerted effort to keep me bogged int he mud, so I ventured back to the dull paved lanes and eventually headed west toward home.  Taking the long way and effectively making a bigger loop around my tail, I came upon this scene as I rounded the bend, skidded to a halt, and began to close the loop with a series of u-turns and head-spins.  But to make the final catch on my quarry required abandoning commonsense and ignoring physical and legal threats to my person.  Thankfully, an F350 brought a moment of clarity and sanity to the evening, and I walked out of the middle of the road.  Did, I find something meaningful and succeed in making it an artful moment?  Thankfully, that's something for the audience to discuss.  I can only commit that I did, in fact, catch my tail that particular evening, and I am currently chewing the hell out of it for an, as yet, undisclosed reason.

(several other images from this evening can be seen in my Flickr Photostream, enjoy)

Staring Out, Again.

A two day storm blows itself out, revealing Hallett Peak, as seen from the easy, albeit windy, trail around Sprague Lake in Rocky Mountain National Park.  This iconic image can be easily captured by anyone with a camera.  I'm certain that anyone who might come to see it when it hangs in the gallery, might intend to go try for themselves.  I wonder why, though.  As an artist, I am compelled toward the expression of my own peculiar stories and ideas.  But what drives others out into the cold to chase an elusive quarry?  In the six hours I walked around the park chasing my own demons tail, my mind drifted back to the mornings I'd get up hell bent on reaching the top of places like Hallett Peak.  I think it was the post-holing hike with an incredibly heavy pack on my back that dislodged the ancient memory.  Maybe it was the very cold and humid spring morning air and wiping my nose on my gloved thumb.  Felt good to be out and alone, drifting with the low clouds taking pictures of trees being eaten alive by pine beetles, and rivulet streams flowing through troughs in the new snow.  Several months ago I hiked into Dream Lake at 4am for the usual alpenglow photos.  After that I hiked to Emerald Lake at the base of the mountain and climbed to a fantastic napping spot in full sun.  I didn't sleep so much as stare at the craggy face picturing myself somewhere up there lost in a shadow, perhaps staring back, but more likely staring into the distance, yet again.  When, on this snowy morning, the clouds lifted out of the valleys, I slowly walked back to my vehicle, groggy and cold, aging.  Something alerts in the trees and goes quiet, all you hear is wind and brushes of snow.  You've become increasingly aware in the hushed forest, moving toward the daydream, unknowingly lost, alone, and increasingly happy.

Riverbend Series, Plate 4

A couple of nights ago, I woke up from a dream.  It was more of a nightmare, but since I forced myself awake, there wasn't that normal continuation of panicked feelings.  In the dream, I was standing on a large rock that was barely sticking out of the ocean.  There was a great white shark circling the rock and being very aggressively inquisitive.  I turned my head to the person who was with me on the rock and said, "If the tide rises, we're fucked."  Then, I looked at my wet feet.  I was wearing shoes.  This is when I woke up.  When I was a small boy, I was very afraid of sharks.  It was an irrational fear, because I lived in Pennsylvania, but the mind of a child isn't a rational thing.  I couldn't close my eyes in the shower, because when I did, I would see a shark's mouth coming toward me.  As a teenager, on the swim team, I used to imagine sharks swimming in the pool during a race.  Fear of sharks, actually, replaced my fear of tornados.  Seems there's always something to fear.  Being an artist is strange thing.  I get ideas and make things.  I had this idea to make a series of prints around the central themes of water and distance.  Would you lose respect for me if I said, this project has it's own tide?  I hope not.  Anyway, you probably know what I mean, though.  Sometimes you lose sight of the idea as it's building.  You know it's there, but it's far off and a little past the horizon, now.  It may be getting closer, I can't really tell.  Damn-it, it's right there, you know you can catch it… but… you're going to have to get a little wet.

Riverbend Series, Plate 2

The second image from the series "Riverbend".  No luck on a new title, yet.  However, I was lucky to find several willing subjects in a single outing.  When I get an idea stuck in my imagination, it is clear and solid and tangible and definite.  Often, though, I cannot use words to express the idea and instead will use the sounds I hear associated with the flashes of colour I see when the idea comes into form.  Well… maybe art is like sausage, great on the plate, but you don't want to know how it got there.  I'll be direct, instead.  A stone cannot swim against the tide.  In order to create something, I have to let go of something.  This is an honest personal truth.  If you can accept that as the inception of my images, I can suggest  another truth.  In order to understand something, you have to let go of something.  A cloud cannot hold itself together.

Riverbend Series, Plate 1

I've completed the first image in a new series.  Riverbend.  The more I type that title, though, the more easily bored I am with it.  About a month ago, I was trying to write an "artist statement" for a local gallery.  When trying to speak about my use of colour, I had to visualize my own reactions to colours I remember from landscapes I've photographed.  Not being able to completely draw any one experience that defined those reactions, I instead, explored out from the feelings I have when moved by the light in some of the more dramatic areas I've worked.  This new series was born in the mind of a painter.  If you can hold an ounce of paint in your hand, it is a small world of colour.  As much as this dollop of paint has depth it can be explored, so much as it spreads around your hand it can be experienced.  The image above is based on a memory I have of being bathed in pink light during a predawn shoot.  The moment was powerful enough to completely stop my work and send me into a playing, dancing, hopping frenzy.  Lately, though, I've been listless as the season tries to change to spring.  A few weeks ago while out for a walk, I became very interested in the shoreline of these local ponds.  The intricacies of the submerged patterns was an amusing diversion, I was able to swim away into a pink memory, and float briefly, above the stones of winter.

Atmosphere; An McF Studios Series

Groggy and cold is now way to go through life. It's not even a good way to make a living. All the jobs I've had that required me to be present, lucid, and feigning interest at early-o'clock began as someone else's idea. The story about these tree images isn't any different. Sitting at the desk before dawn in January, I got an email from my girlfriend that read, "Get off your ass, it's really beautiful outside." Knowing that she hates the cold, I rushed out with the camera and two lenses, a 50mm and an ultra-wide. Shivering along the drive, my head started comparing places close by that might pair well with the fog. Had to be close, I was six minutes ahead of the sun, but the fog was really thick. I wanted trees and space. No space in town, but there are a few great trees in City Park, so that's where I headed. I started fantasizing about trees hit with god-beams while all around was fog and light. You get what you get. Everything was muddy, mediocre, dull. OK. Walk around shooting a few exposures, check the histo, change a lens, check again. Got it. Shoot the 50mm at f/1.4 min, f/2.8 max which will provide all the separation I need. Composing with the 50 also controls the distortion... ain't none. Just gotta keep picking up the sticks and moving until it's perfect. After that, I'm goin' full HDR baby. I shot 9 stop brackets, but only needed three. Had the intent of doing black and white, but when I saw the first return on the LCD, I wanted the little bit of colour because it increased the separation I was there to capture. Sometimes you just get lucky. Yeah... LUCKY! Today, I got lucky a lot. Lucky that the light was there. Lucky that I found an easy subject. Lucky that the means met the idea. Lucky for the girl who got me goin'. Not a bad day by my standards.
(the rest of this series is available at Flickr, enjoy)

Wolf Moon Prairie

The Wolf Moon rising over the prairie Saturday night, north of New Raymer, CO. After a lackluster sunset on the buttes, and not much glow in the civil twilight, I had completely packed the Jeep ready to go find food, anybody else crave steak after a day out on Pawnee? maybe it's just me. Luckily cought the slight arc of moon light reflecting on a window. Happily, skipping a meal I caught this.  Think the camera saw more stars than I did.  Lots of things I could have done better technically speaking, but that doesn't change how much I absolutely love this photograph.  Single frame shot, Nikon D3 at 30 seconds, f/4, ISO200.

Settler's Gate

Three things that start with the letter "W".

Walking    Wondering    Waiting

Over the last three days, I've unknowingly adhereded to this shceme.  I found it by asking my self a question concerning the state of my art.  Which itself started as a question concerning the value others seem to place on the trueness of a photograph.  I'll start there again.

Sitting in Luck Joe's, showing my small book to a waitress, she asked, "Is this Photoshopped?"

"Yes, everything is.  Photoshop is one of my favourite tools."

She continued flipping through the images and, I think, complimented them before going back to work.

The essence of this question is, perhaps, "Can I believe this as a true photograph?"  Which is the repetition of the SOOC crap, anti-HDR crap, artist vs. reporter crap, and... (this is the exact moment I became bored with the argument).

Both sides of that discussion are ridiculous.  Side A: The river is here every day, it never changes.  Side B: The river is always changing, every day it different.

Explain that yourself.

The action of capturing a percise moment in time as a still image is by design an abstraction of reality.  anything more is an embellishment.  it is the intent behind that embellishment which can offer definition to the image.  arguing against intent, is futile, masteurbatory, and reteric.

From there I asked myself something about my intent as it relates to my means.  I find something while I am walking around.  It will get into my memory and from there a conversation will take place deep in a subconscious realm, while my imagination begins to wonder about that thing.  Then I will wait.

That's the formula.  Let me demonstrate it in a slightly more tangible manner.

The object in the photo above was originally found while hiking on my birthday.  I stopped to consider it twice, each time without a camera.  I thought it would be a great place to take some photos and then went back to stomping into the frozen snow.  Three weeks later, I didn't have much motivation to shoot but for some reason I went out and started racing the sun, because of a suspicion that something really wonderful might be coming.  This spot is close to my apartment and that's where I went.  Technically speaking, the image above has been manipulated from it's original group of negatives.  Lots of tools were used to beat the thing into submission.  All of the tools I use are available to anyone, except two.  Imagination and Awareness.  As an artist, those are the most powerful tools I have.

I walked (actually ran) to this old gate.  I wondered why I was there.  I waited for an answer.

Doing What's Natural

Racing the sunrise this morning, literally.  Running down the trail while trying to get the camera mounted on the tripod.  Couldn't manage to get it centered in the head correctly, so I stopped and did it right.  Fired off a few shots of civil twilight hitting the clouds (view one here) just in case I missed the action when I got up the hill.  Threw the rig over my shoulder and continued the sprint.  I don't run much.  Recently joked that the only reason for an adult to run is from the cops.  Now look at me.  Victim of poor planning.  Got up early enough, but didn't pack anything the night before.  Completely out of practice.  But the running actually felt good, until the hill.  Then I started thinking about taking pictures of the frost melting off the stones in the trail because I was going to be face down soon, waiting on Search and Rescue.  Just a bit of drama in the morning, though, blood moving kept the fingers pink and the boots warm.  This is what I'm meant to do.  Get outside to experience me experiencing the natural world.  Wish it paid the rent, though.

Got up the hill, found my spot and started gunning through the film (digital memory just sounds wierd).  I walked through this local Natural Area a few weeks ago and got an idea the sun would be just about right this time of year for some early morning pictures. The shot above taught me the real importance of tripods... you can keep shooting while catching your breath.  Felt good to be outside shooting, again.  Thankfully the sunrise is pretty late, don't think I could handle a 3am start. There's an interesting feature right behind where I'm taking this shot.  In the next few days you'll be able to see what I think is worth runnning uphill in 15 degree weather to capture.  Funny thing, on the walk back down, I met a cop out to see if the report of a huge buck was true.  He asked me to stay on the trail.  I fought the urge to run.

Portfolio Updates

In the process of organizing my Zenfolio galleries, I put together this group of my favourite images.  Clicking through will take you to Zenfolio where you can find more image galleries and buy prints if you are so inclined.  Enjoy.

These Little Bug Blues

I'm currently working on a project to catalogue a library of insects.  Thousands of little arthropods called  Curculionidae something or other.  What do you want... Latin?  I went to art school, you know that.  I'm lucky I can spell my name in my native language.

This little guy above is something I found in a random box of assorted critters all of which are unidentififed and, as I understand it, unidentifiable in their current condition.  A little tag which we translated to Eastern Criscuma region of Paraguay was pinned beneath.  The googles told me that the Eastern Criscuma region of Paraguay is probably Brazil.  The Google map of Paraguay contains surprisingly little detail, in comparison to the map of the ocean floor.  Maybe Google hasn't found Paraguay, or Paraguay is very good at keeping secrets.
Shiny green thing, keep on shining.
I find it completely impossible not to anthropomorphize a bit.  Imagine walking along trying to be the best little green thing on the circuit, just cruising for a little something to nibble and maybe some romance and all of a sudden you're in a jar filled with sodium cyanide only to end up with a pin through your exo fixed to a box in a little room far from anything that will ever benefit from your existence.  (I'm not preaching anti-anything, or pro-something.  So, don't go too far with this scenario, empathy is good but only to a point.)  One little bug picture and everybody gets a little Kafka shiver.

I'm interested in the inception of the instinct to collect a specimen only to abandon it later.  By extension, the instinct to react to an idea of artistic impulse only to let it flounder on it's own and eventually dissipate like a mustard burp.  Ideas don't have to die in a box, I suppose.  Maybe that's the point of this post.  Seems a fitting epitaph to our cyan adventurer above.

A tiny green idea floats insouciantly along, eventually to become a victim of understanding.

Hook & Moore Glade Moonrise

During the holiday break, I took a break.  Long story short:  I'm back, let's move on.

It's been a long time getting back into my  work pattern and coming to a complete halt for two weeks was exactly what I needed.  The day after Christmas I went out on a hike in a local Nature Area to check it out and maybe find some places to make images.  Great hike.  Not very cold, shallow snow, minimal mud, and not another person around.  As far as the images... a lot of maybe's, really depends on the right sky to give them life.  So, I'm holding on to the ideas for late spring to see how they germinate.

All afternoon the moon was sneaking over the prairie in a playful hike'n'seek fashion, teasing the sun and the photographer alike.  The above image isn't from the hike.  It's from the drive home.  The hogbacks and the small rolling hills I was hiking just weren't coming together for me.  I saw the moon in one way and the hills in another and there just wasn't a composition or compositing technique that was gonna make them come together to meet the picture in my head.  Kind of the problem with a good imagination.

So, I made some snapshots and kept walking.  Eventually getting back to the Jeep cranking the Mahler and heading home.  The playful moon wasn't done though, and started peaking under the drip cap kinda tugging at my shirt.  I handled it calmly, though.  Knowing full well I needed the D3 to get the right files, I watched the hogbacks and just rolled along until I found it.  When I got home I checked the moon phase calendar (full on the 31st) and planned to return in a few days.  Then checked the weather (snow over the 30-31st) and rescheduled for the following evening.

The image above is made from ten separate image files.  Tonemapped and composited to construct the image.  All ten images were made from the same spot and collected in a five minute period.  Why?  Well, one good exposure of this scene would provide only the expansion or compression of whichever lens I chose.  In my head the grand open landscape is a giant playground (14mm), but the moon is huge and giving me a great tug of war for my attention (200mm).  Only one answer for me... HDR technique for lovely glowing late afternoon cold sunlight, HDR for the subtlety of the moon (& essential for matching the colour and luminosity in the sky), then a well executed composite.  Just enough weight in the foreground to keep the eye bouncing around, like a giddy playmate.

I'm off to work on another project, which doesn't require any imagination.  But that doesn't preclude the lack of playfulness, so I'll have some images from that shoot to post soon enough.

Thanks for checking in...

New Layout Test

Checking the image size.

Banded Hazing

Having some fun with HDR on a recent trip to California.  A small gallery can be viewed here.  Guess which is not an HDR?

The Widening Gyre

Shooting some bird activity one hazy and bright afternoon.  A small gallery  can be viewed here.

NIght Tower

The playback is choppy on this little version, so I put up a standalone page for this video.  Shot this on a recent trip to CA (obviously) crossing the Golden Gate Bridge at night. Been working on this stillmotion technique off and on, this is the result of beating my head against the desk for the last fourteen hours to figure out the best settings for playback. What you see is the result I'm most happy with. Personally, I think it's time to abandon this project and find a new subject. Of course if I lived near-by I'd reshoot this one until I was satisfied. But it's not exactly a day trip from my apartment in Fort Collins, CO. Learning curve is pretty high, at least for me. Overall this is too cool to delete.
Camera Details:
NIkon D3, 50mm f/1.4 AF-s, Cloudy White Balance, Manual Exposure Mode, 1/60 at f/1.4, ISO 1600, JPEG Basic, Small
I was sitting in the backseat and just shooting like mad with the D3. Didn't have time to meter, so I guessed. Kindda proud of that fact. Composition was dependent on which lane the driver chose and how I had the D3 wedged between the glass and the sill. Got lucky here, too. It's no less valid that I took a guess and nailed it. Guessing is the result of experience, and a tremendous learning tool. The total was 95 shots in the sequence. An additional 14 were added to each end of the video in Photoshop CS4 to create the fades. Video was compiled using QTPro importing the image sequence at 12fps.
Colour balance doesn't seem to hold after the video compression, but to watch the full HDTV size on the Cinema display is yummy red velvet against the blackness. Success is defined here by the need to abandon this for what it is, a successful experiment which yielded answers to questions that will go toward further projects of this type. After watching this a few time I got some idea of what to change on the camera's end and that should make the post-processing a bit smoother. Got an ice climbing trip planned later in the month, might be a good subject for the next installment.
Now get outside and play...

A Day With(out) Art

In 1989, as a response to the AIDS crisis, this day December 1st, was designated "A Day With(out) Art".  At the time I was living in Philadelphia and attending an art college.  During the early 90's AIDS was impossible to ignore, specially in a city like Philly.  The fear and a few of the stereotypes were eventually lessened and unfortunately the significance of this day was also lessened and in places , if recognized at all, it was forgotten.

Certainly true of the area I currently call home, as well as the blog-o-sphere I haunt.  There is a lot of info available today about new camera gear being announced, three first time authors have three new books available, one formerly reputable blogger has just given away a pile of gear to a recent contest winner, several contests were also announced, but nothing is mentioned about the significance of December 1st.

So here it is:

December 1st; A Day With(out) Art.  I encourage everyone, everywhere to engage in one meaningful and random act of kindness today (or whatever day you actually read this).  Afterward, maybe most importantly, don't tell anyone.  No twitter, no facebook, no blogging, no bragging.  Do it quietly and remember the moment.

To Absent Friends...

WHOA!!! MASSIVE UPDATE!!!!!!!!

I got both drumsticks! That's right... BOTH!!!!!
WHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!HOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Nine shot handheld HDR of the Thanksgiving table in San Jose CA.  Having a great time with the family. Missed a great sunset photo-op today, but plan to make up for it tomorrow in Sausalito.

Hope there were great family times had by all.

Fall Back

Today's photo is from a nearby Natural Area.  Couldn't get the crop I wanted on the trees, so I flipped the camera vertical and shot a 5 frame pano allowing me to keep the resolution after the 4x5 ratio crop.  I was shooting on a little foot bridge and worried about the any little movements and vibrations showing up.  Came together pretty well (eat it Hasselblad!).  Otherwise, not much in post, sharpening, cloning a telephone pole and streetlamp.  Not a breath of wind all evening.  Got kinda lucky, good night for reflections, just wish there were some high drama clouds.

I have a few others in the works and will try to keep them coming daily.  However I'm going to for a family visit over the holiday and might not pay much attention to the blog.  In other words, maybe semi-daily for the next few days.

Happy Thanks Giving everyone.

photo details:  Nikon D3, 50mm, 1/3sec @ f/16, ISO 100